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Severus Snape's Christmas Carols

Snape's 12Days of Christmas here!

Albus Snape Has Heard On High
(Angels We Have Heard On High)

Joy to the world!

Albus we have heard on high
 Sweetly singing over the tables
And the students in reply,
Echoing his joyous strains.
Glo-ori-a End this torture now!
Glo-ori-a I wish that I could be deaf

-Old man, why this giddyness?
Why your silly strains prolong?
What the erksome tidings be
Which inspire your horrible song?
Glo-ori-a Please get it over soon!
Glo-ori-a I'm off to St. Mungo!

Come to Hogwarts, he told me
Celebrate the Holidays!
Come, enjoy oh so merry
Songs and games and the Great Feast
Glo-ori-a I'm so out of here!
Glo-ori-a Darn it he blocked the entrance!!

In shocked horror there I laid
Albus, Lord of this darn farce !
Lupin, Minerva lent a hand,
Keeping me bound and chained to my chair
Glo-ori-a If they ever unhand me
Glo-ori-a I'll pickel every last of them!!

 

Joy to the world! A detention:
I caught him out of bound!
Let ev'ry one know of his wrong,
And all Gryffindors cry,
And all Slytherins smile,
And Argus and Norris and I delight.

He ruled them all with arrogance,
And made the newspapers
The glories of His righteousness
And wonders of His life,
Now gone from the moment
Harry Potter went out of bound!

 

I wish you an awful Christmas

I wish you an awful Christmas
I wish you an awful Christmas
I wish you an awful Christmas
And a gloomy New Year.

I don't want some silly carols
I don't want some silly carols
I don't want some silly carols
So get out of my face!

If you won't go bother elsewhere
If you won't go bother elsewhere
If you won't go bother elsewhere
I swear I'll pickle you!

I wish you a cursed Christmas
I wish you a cursed Christmas
I wish you a cursed Christmas
Screw you and the New Year.

Hex the Halls
(Deck the Halls)

The Potions Song
(The Christmas Song - Chesnut roasting...)

Hex the halls of all the students,
Fa la la la la la, la la la la.
Tis the season to be bitchy,
Fa la la la la la, la la la la.

Don we now our gray apparel,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
Silence
the ancient Yuletide carol,
Fa la la la la la, la la la la.

See the blazing flag before us,
Fa la la la la la, la la la la.
'Tis a Gryffindor emblema

Fa la la la la la, la la la la.

Follow me in merry jinxing,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
While I'm handing out detentions,
Fa la la la la la, la la la la.

Fast away the students pass by,
Fa la la la la la, la la la la.
Yes, fear me
, ye lads and lasses,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.

Sing I joyous, altogether,
Fa la la la la la, la la la la.
Heedless of the mad Headmaster,
Fa la la la la la, la la la la.

 

A potion brewing on an open fire
The fumes nipping at my nose
Yule-tide creatures being stewed by dozens
And I'm dressed up in teaching robes.

Everybody knows timing and concentration
Help to make a potion right
Tiny tots and a glass of porto
Make it easy to smirk, tonight.

I know that Albus's on his way
He's loaded lots of tea and candies on his tray
And every year he comes down to spy
To see if I really know how to smile

And so I'm offering this sleeping potion
To this kid of a hundred fifty-two
Although it's been said many times, many ways
"Mind your own business, Albus!!"