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March 5th, 2005 - The Bane of my Life

Dear Journal,

I do not know what I did, recently, to deserve such pain as befell me today. No, Albus has not again forced me to accompany him to Honeydukes, nor has Potter the Moron-who-would-not-leave-me-in-peace-since-he-is-again-here-for-a-week played any jokes on me so far, nor has Minerva been shedding on my fine clothes again.  Nothing as fancy and pleasant as all that. No! Because the Gods have decided to bestow their wrath on me for I now have to suffer the insufferable presence of my young 15 year old cousin, Francesca. Yes, you heard me, my most "dearest" little cousin is here. Dearest pain in the neck!

Why? It is reading week in Canada where my aunt, Irisia, wiser than I, long fled the stupidity of our dear British Ministry of Magic to marry off a wizard of good standing over there. And for the second time ever, she self-invited her daughter to my home so she could "fraternize" with her cousin or in other words, because she could not support the nitwit anymore. Who else to ship her to but me! Indeed! Maybe she has some hidden hopes of my being able to tame her, though up to now, I assure you dear Journal that she is quite a hopeless cause. I said this is the second time, for my aunt shipped her once when she was about 10, but to my great consternation it occurred while I was away on a mission... Did I say I was consternated? Sorry, slip of the quill, I meant relieved beyond reason! Thankfully, it fell upon Albus to take care of the little pest then, though of course he would scold me for saying so, until she removed to Canada once again.  He was all sweets and candies while she was there, so of course she kept a good memory of the place and wanted to come back. If only she had been put in the care of Filch! But no, it had to be Albus.  My aunt often sent me owls in which she would hint of her wish for her daughter's visit, bits which I left unanswered or threatened to be unkind to her daughter each time she mentioned it through accounts of how I treated my own students. Thus, I had been able to put off this family babysitting job up until now... Seems my last threat of making sure her descendants all suffered from compulsory leprosy did not drive the point home however. Alas! Having observed the girl all day, I can understand why her parents thought spending their free time with her at home was more frightening than the threats of an ex-Death Eater nephew. It was bound to happen anyhow, but I still kept the faintest hope that my aunt would suffer some form of memory loss at one point before that fateful moment. Again, no, that was wishful thinking on my part.

It is ten at night. There she is, I can see her as I write to you from my study, listening to that toe-curling teenage obscenity she dares call music.  She is dressed in a night shirt (though I should say a sleeveless shirt shorter than decency should ever allow in someone so young) of the ugliest pink shade I have had the displeasure of seeing in my entire life.  Not to mention the most atrocious panties she wears under her night clothes (not that I checked, mind you, rather because she most deliberately paraded with it in front of me while shamelessly walking out of the bathroom this evening). When I told her to cover herself, she only looked taken aback and amused I should be such a prude since we were family. This is not about being prudish, it's about decency and a minimum of decorum! Everyone is doing it back home she said. No wonder she has this unbecoming attitude for someone so young if she's allowed to act like she's reached her maturity years ago.  This type of behaviour is most distasteful and almost screams: "Take me I'm yours" to anyone passing by. Let's hope it does not catch on in Great Britain. Or has it already occurred? Hogwarts only allows pyjamas or long night dresses so I wouldn't know. I cannot believe parents allow their children to walk around as they please in their home as if they were out hootchy-cootchy seducing some bloke in a peep show! Worst even, with innuendo catch phrases printed on them just like on her knickers which, by the way, look like some gross version of  male muggles' pants with large hems of a different colour. The whole is totally unfeminine and mismatched; orange and blue!. Of all things, it is written "Bite me" on the back.  Oh! The intense urge I felt at that precise moment my eyes came in contact with the offending phrase, the urge of making a run to Hagrid's monster zoo and grad the first sharp-teethed creature in dire need of biting is almost impossible to describe. It was just as strong as the pull of the Dark Mark!  If only Albus had not giving me that "knowing look" when they were both at my door this morning, which silently forbade me to do anything harsh to her,  I would have done it without any regrets.  But life is unfair. I would have sent her away, but my aunt had foreseen that most likely occurrence. She's a Snape mind you. Francesca came in with a letter from my aunt which specifically entailed that I should not send her back before two days were up at the very least or else, she would find a way to make my life even more miserable, by sending her off with her boyfriend next time, for example. Her letter was not as obvious as this, it was as subtle as could be, but the meaning was clear. It was either getting this out of the way now or suffer worst consequences later. Being the intelligent man I am, I chose the former of course. Still, life is unfair.  On the other hand, Albus never forbid me from swearing or insulting the little tart if she'd prove too daft... and so belittling began in no less than 10minutes after her arrival. That was generous of me, I know. Most unusually patient I've been.

Fortunately, after walking out of the bathroom and then to her room and back to haunt me in the sitting room, she had finally covered her nightmarish panties with some matching pink pyjama pants. I may be imagining things, but I swear when she raised her arms up to yawn, I saw that the waist line was nearer to the bikini line.  Surely she walks with a constant warming charm on her if she wears such light short clothing in the middle of winter!  I was already surprised by her mid-calf trousers, imagine when I saw just how low her pyjamas felt on her waist. Last time I saw that was as a boy in an erotic witch magazine!! Don't they realise that they wear what witches of dubious taste and upbringing back 20 years ago used to?!  Had I seen her on the street in such clothes, I would have concluded right away what her trade was. Yet this is what teenagers seem to wear these days.  Unbelievable! And I thought I wanted to go out more and see the world, I'm not sure it is safe for my morality out there anymore. She barely understands what sensuality is, yet there she is showing herself to whomever dares look her way. This is most immoral!

Up until she came back to the sitting room, she's remained seated on my leather couch, painting her nails and eating crisps while listening to her incessant satanic music. I hexed the device she uses so the volume never goes up to the point of my hearing it, too. I smirked when she realised that! Ah! For her well-being, I dare to hope she remembers a cleaning spell to rid the mess she's made or else, she'll have painted her nails for naught. Or should I say, for her own funeral; I will even be generous enough to pay for it! If there is one thing I loathe, more than those ignorant and pathetic excuse for students that I have to teach everyday, it's untidiness.

Oh no! She's finished and looking at me. She has that look. She is going to talk to me, I can just feel it. She always does have that blasted smile on her face when she wants to.

[...]

Yes, she did. Here is an approximate of our "delightful" conversation:

"Hey, Uncle Sev..." Gosh! I cringe each time she says that! The little tart knows it all too well!  I answered back in my most silky yet threatening voice.

"Do you have a short-attention deficiency or did I not warn you to never call me by that shameful nickname again?"

"Yeah, yeah! If you say so. I just forgot, it's not so bad!" She has the most careless manner of dismissing everything as lightly as she wants and it drives me mad! You tell her something, she'll forget it and tell you she was just not listening when she asks you to repeat. She simply says "Oops! Forgot" and the coast is clear she thinks. She has no regrets, no culpability, no nothing! How can one be so clueless and careless of others?! Like dismissing any critique or solving everything with the wave of her hand by saying she didn't think about it.  So I just stared at her while she shot me her best innocent smile again. She will never know she almost died at that precise moment! But not being too inclined in ending my days in Azkaban, I pulled myself together. She went on as if nothing happened. Of all the nerves! Does she play that trick on her parents all the time?!  I reckon she does if she believes it will allow her to do everything without any consequences.

"Wanna go for a walk or something?"

"No."

"Come on! It's gonna be great! The weather's nice t'night and you're always sitting there doing nothing."

I'd had my doubts until that moment, but from then on I knew she was suicidal or had a dead wish!

"What I do is none of your business!" I snarled. "Not that a silly girl like you who has been pampered all of her life could understand how real adults have important duties to attend to rather than take stupid little night strolls just for the fun of it! I'm busy! And even if I were not, you have no right to assume and decide of my schedule for me. "

She dared wear that darn sneer-like smile upon her face again.

"Yeah, of course! No wonder you're so pale and brooding all the time, you never get some fresh air! That's what the other teachers said. If you'd take a walk it would be good for you."

"What has paleness have anything to do with a NIGHT stroll?! That's nonsense and totally out of context!" I was loosing control, I had to regain my composure. That's when I had an idea, a Slytherin worthy idea. I would give her that freedom she craved for. "If you want to go outside, please be my guest I won't retain you here any further. Go bother the hell out of someone else and send them my good wishes. Loads of students would do anything to be allowed such an opportunity!"

"Well, I'm already in pyjamas anyway, and my nail polish has to dry, so I'd better not go. Much better staying here, I don't like being alone!"

The little tease!  Says she'll go out, then when your hopes are at their highest, she won't just to piss you off.

"What do you mean you won't go alone? You are telling me that you are old enough to come here by yourself yet not enough to go for a walk on your own?!"

"It's not the same. I always go out with my friends. It's no fun all alone." She was almost pouting.

"Well get used to it here or get yourself some friends tomorrow from the Slytherin common room. Knowing them they'll be thrilled to accompany you anywhere you wish since you all sound like giggling foolish girls to me!"

"No! I want to go out with you!"

"The answer is no."

"Come on!! I'll be super dupper nice!"

"Do you ever stop wining or is it because you lack the ability?"

"I wine because it works all the time. And I can be very persistent!"

Oh sweet Merlin!   

"All right then, if you leave me in peace, I promise you we will do something nice tomorrow morning after breakfast. Is that enough to put your mind at ease?"

"Yeah, sure! Oh!! We'll have to go to Hogsmeade, I heard there were lots of nice little shops down there. I love shopping! I'd like eating some British food as well since it's supposed to be uneatable, I want to judge for myself, and then maybe..."

"I didn't say we were going to Hogsmeade or anywhere, I just said we would do something 'nice'." Oh! Would she ever shut up!

"Still, I'd like going there. Why not? It would be fun..."

"You will know tomorrow when we set off only so stop your feeble brain from imagining all things, you'll likely blow up the few cells left in there!"

"It would still be nice!" She added with a pout.  

Why you nelly silly foolishly girly ...

[...]

Sorry for the delay, I crushed my quill, again.  I just hate those who want the last word in any conversations.

At least she went back to her "silent (thank Merlin) mode", leaving me to write these lines in peace.

It is a shame she did not come by while the Dark Lord was still alive, because if she had, I would have had the ingenious idea of using her as the most perfect and cruel weapon in the whole wide world against this psycho-maniac. Oh yes! He would have begged for mercy!

"Night, Severus!"

"Yes, do that! Good night and let's not see each other until the morrow. Breakfast will be available to you as soon as you get up, so no need to wait for me I always get up at 9." She smiled again. Argh! Go away, it's all that I ask for! Stop grinning like the foolish twit you are, oblivious to all the insults I throw at you and just GO AWAY!

Sigh! She has finally retired for the night, thank goodness for small things! Still, I have had such a horrible day. First, she was dropped on me for two days at 8 this morning (time at which I was still sleeping peacefully of course), then she invaded my personal space as if she were my own daughter, and I mean that even my own daughter would never have been allowed to strut about my rooms like that. Nosy as a mouse, taking in the looks of my rooms without any scruples.  Scrutinizing my living quarters with some distaste as she self-appointed herself  an indoor designer critique, mentioning how old and cliché my furniture was and how too many books crowded the rooms. Said I should try something more modern. That ticked me off and I asked her why of all the places on Earth her parents had to leave her with me since she was so disapproving of living with an old style man in an old style castle. She just answered very casually that she was the one who had wanted to spend some days far from home. Like I believe her anyway.  And since she was told that I was, and I quote,"as pleasant as my mother, Irisia, I thought it couldn't be that bad, especially since you're a war hero and you live in such a big place even though it's so old." Merlin help me! Proves that blondes, for she is taking after her father with her light brown/blond hair, are either simply stupid or just have incredibly lazy brains which they use only for cosmetics and fashion matters!

At first, I tried engaging in normal polite conversation. I do hate having guests call on me, even more when so unexpected, but I was still brought up with good manners.  It would not do to simply ignore her or leave her on my door sill. Ten minutes I said earlier, that is how long it took for trivial polite conversation to escalate into utmost displeasure and sarcasm.  When Dumbledore had left us to our "family reunion", she and I were all alone looking at each other. Or more I glaring at her.

"Hello, cousin!"

"Hello ... Franceska" The name dripped off my mouth as a foul potions would have. "How are your parents?"

"Oh them? They're the same, won't get off my back and all. You know how they are, my mother told me you were like her so you must know what it's like!"

"Indeed!" There was that dark tone to my voice, should have warned her but, no, she seemed clueless to my obvious distaste. "And why did you choose to visit my humble home?"

"'Cause I wanted some time away from home and I remembered I had so much fun the last time I visited though you were not there. Where were you exactly?"

"No where that concerns you really." The cheek!

"Well anyway the important is that I'm here!! I always wanted to see my only cousin though mom warned me you were not the nicest of person. But when you've been brought up by parents like mine, you don't fear anyone anymore!"

"How flattered I am!" Sarcasm was never stronger!

"Ha ha!" She was laughing!? "Mom was right then! You ARE just as sarcastic as her! Oh boy! We're gonna have fun together!" Of all the ... what did she just say?! Was she not afraid of me at all? I frowned deeply, this would not do. But I still maintained a modicum of politeness.

"I'm happy you find me to your taste, but do not pretend to know me like some old "chum" of yours. We may be related by blood, but I always believed contact to be thicker than blood so if you..."

"Oh please!  Don't jump on your high horses!!  I'm happy to see you really! Why get all pumped up?!"

That was it, my patience had reached its limits.  How dare she impose on me like that!

"I'll have you know, young lady, that I would be a whole lot calmer if you had deigned to make your visit known to me at least a month in advance as any well-mannered family should do. You cannot drop here uninvited and then act towards me as we were old acquaintances! This will not do! Have you no manners at all?"

"Oh come on! It's just a visit. And mom sent a letter!" She handed me the letter and after reading it, I knew as I mentioned before, my defeat.

So then, the only thing to do was try to lay down the ground rules in a last attempt at regaining my calm even though I knew she didn't care nor would remember since she kept staring at me, blankly.  If I reckoned well, she did not catch a single word of what I said, except where she were to take her things. I went to my study desk and told her she could engage in any activity of her liking as long as she did not disturb my work.  Indeed, she proved me right five minutes later by laying her dirty careless hands on my precious books. Rule number 2 that was. At least I had the sublime pleasure to witness her blank face turn to the utmost fear when she heard me utter a stunning spell, so much in fact that I believe I am the reason why she had to repaint her nails. Surely the polish recoiled and quailed from the shock! Ah! She'll remember that one she will.  Especially since I left her there as I came along her side to pick up the fallen book, replaced it on the shelves, gave her my sternest glare, and moved back to my desk. Ten minutes later, I unfrozen her but I knew that would be one trick I could not repeat, it would not serve me well to have to explain to Albus that I used it twice out of sheer reflex...  She, on the other hand, didn't like her punishment at all. The second she was free, she was angry and very much like the miniature version of a banshee.

"It was just a book!! Why did you have to do that!? It's not as if I care to read your boring books anyway! I just wanted to see the cover"

Bla, bla, bla... Try to save the face all you want. I didn't care, I'd just had my reward, and she turned around so fast from the bookcase that I didn't have to act otherwise.  I was, under my cold features, very unnerved however. So I tried flooing Albus so I could drop my "problem" unto his hands. But of course the old man was not there though he was the one who let her in. Albus, you just watch for your hides next time you see me!  The twinkle in your eyes will run for cover.

When I turned around from the fireplace, she was there.

From that moment, even though I was already majorly at my nerves end, I knew there would be no point whatsoever in sending her back to my aunt, I knew from experience that she would find a way to make it worst each time I tried to avoid it. So I sighed heavily and accepted my fate for the next two days after which I would finally be free of any hormonal pinky giggly teenager girls.

After a long moment of silence, I heard a shriek. The most blood freezing shriek ever: a girl's giddy shriek of joy of finding my precious little companion cat, Corvus.

"Oh!!! He's so cute, Uncle Sev!! Oh my God!  Never saw such a cutie little kitty in the world!"

"Don't ever call me that again! This is unworthy, even for you! I am not your uncle either thank god! Only a distant cousin! And my cat is not cute! He's distinguished, but NOT cute!"

"Oh come on! You're much older than I so it's not so bad if I call you uncle! And look at him!  He's the most gorgeous cuddly-wuddly little furry thing alive! Oh see! (pointing to Corvus' white fur spot on his throat) He's just like you with your white collar 'round the neck!" Heavens! Tell me I did not hear that.  Breathe Severus!

"Are you out of your mind?! Drop that cat! ... Now!"

"Whoa!  Calm down! Don't have a cow!"  I was infuriated. How dare she order me in my own house!!

"I will have a bloody cow if I ever wish to. Just make sure to keep clear from my cat and any of those sickingly cute adjectives you just used on him! Giddiness is not becoming in a young lady!" 

At which moment, Corvus jumped back on her laps.

"Corvus, you traitor! Get out of the room!"

"But he loves me!"  She was cuddling MY cat like some stuffed animal of hers.  A cat she had just mentioned looked like me! Of all the sick analogies, I could not keep shivering from fright at imagining that she was actually cuddling me so. That wouldn't do.  I was frantic and gesturing like a mad man at my feline companion. If I could not control the girl, I could always control the cat.

"Corvus, get the bloody hell out of here before I decide to use you as potions ingredients! Is that clear?"

I was furious, but even more out of my mind to think how cruelly my cat had just betrayed me. After all I did for him, he would jump on her like any old friend would. No one does that to my cat. No one! I'll teach her, I thought.

"Now, unpack your luggage and prepare yourself for lunch."

"What is there to prepare?" The girl was the epitome of cluelessness.

She was dressed in what I suspect, though I may never be sure, to have been a red dyed beaten up dead rat overcoat with a black T-shirt overcrowded with silly little gems as if she had walked out of an accident with the Fairy Godmother. She was also wearing some tight matching red leather trousers that squeaked each time she moved along with what looked like three feet high heel square men's boots.

"Do not tell me that you had the intention of sitting down for lunch clad in this manner? You look nothing like a witch,  and you look nothing short of a clown!"

Contrary to popular belief, I do not have problems with Muggle clothing, though I loath jeans (too tight and unconventional) and anything with silly logos which only provide free publicity for brands which make money on your back, but I still believe in a modicum of elegance and good taste everyone should observe, and I would be damned if this sorry excuse for a girl would eat in front of me in such tasteless clothes. How could one not feel sick when presented with that while eating?!

"Why not?! I've always done so at home! It's just lunch, not a fancy diner! And unless you have not looked at your Headmaster lately, he deserves the title of clown much more than I when it comes to fashion tastes!"

You may insult anyone all you want my dear, but only I can insult Albus! God I was in the sourest of moods!

"This is not your home, you ignorant girl unless you are too silly to have noticed by now that no one here is obeying you like you seem so used to! And the wizard you are talking about happens to be the most powerful in the world so he may dress just as he likes for no one will dare duel him on the matter. When you have such power, which I doubt because you will surely never learn anything beyond what a third year will, you may dress as you want wherever you want to. But unless that happens and until you are at my table, you will be under my authority.  Moreover, even though you claim that everyone does it these days, it is still the most pathetic arguments of all. Quidditch players chew like cows and spit like llamas all the time but that doesn't make it less undignified. I am appalled your mother never taught you good fashion and table manners to begin with.  It is not as I remember her to be. Maybe she gave up on you, but I will not because there is a proper way to dress at any table. One should always be fashionable even in the most mundane of situations so it's lucky for you to have inherited your father's name because I would make an appeal to the Supreme Wizard Court so that the name Snape would not be passed down to such an uncaring heir.  These atrocities you call clothes are NOT fashionable for a witch. Now get out of my sight, transfigure yourself some proper clothes and come join me for lunch in half an hour. I will ask the House Elves to have something delivered down here."  Useless to say I was out of breath and happy she did not retaliate more though she did roll her eyes a couple of times while gaping like a fish. Maybe I should be insulted because from experience, when teenagers do not reply that nothing is their fault and that you are the one who's stuck up, it means they were only waiting for you to stop to go back to their own little worlds. Like waiting out for the storm to call down sort of.  But I didn't care right then, I was more self-conscious of remembering where I'd stored my last nerve calming draught when suddenly she asked:

"Why not go upstairs in the Great Hall with the othe..."  My eyes popped out!

"So they can witness your total lack of manners? I don't think so! We will be a whole lot better eating here where nobody can ask questions nor laugh at me.  But if you prove to have passable manners while eating here with me, you may just have a chance to be allowed out of these rooms. Do I make myself clear?"

She nodded, walked up to her room muttering something about adults being all the same and no fun, and closed the door, but not without sneering at me with her 'innocent' pathetic face. If I could just wipe out that smile off her face, I swear, I would never take off points from Gryffindors ever again. I know she only does it to spite me even more. Unfortunately, it looks as though she is immune to my "evil professor" persona. I have to thank my aunt for raising her like that and accepting such appalling behaviour, for no one should be allowed to survive the evil Snape glare. Maybe that's why my own mother never cared much about her sister, too liberal for her tight manners surely.

Corvus took that opportunity to bride me into forgiving him by cuddling my ankles. Slytherin to the core! But so am I, therefore I told him to bugger off! Traitor! He'll come back tonight in the privacy of my room, I will not mind forgiving him then.

I called lunch.  Francesca came out, though I had to shout for her to come... she was listening to music again and had Oh surprise lost notion of time! Astonishingly however, and I must say I almost fainted from shock that she had listened to me, she did dress properly for lunch. Said her mother had made sure she had enough appropriate clothes while visiting me. Ah! So maybe the fault is her father after all. Oh! I can imagine him, sugar-daddy worshiping the ground on which his little princess walks upon.  And then 'poof', you end up with a darn little cheeky drama queen who cares for no one's opinion nor values at 15.  My only joy right now is knowing her parents have to endure the consequences of raising their child as such all year round. She sounds just like a kid who never suffered the consequences of her acts.

I ate in silence while she babbled about whatnot of her teenager life. Just like a good Slytherin, I stayed there and listened until she had nothing more to say.  The "act dead" technique once again prevailed though it did not shield me from that awful headache that had been building up ever since she'd crossed the door sill! The headache had self-proclaimed itself king of my poor brain.  I had to fetch a strong potion to expropriate it.

In the afternoon, I dropped the new bane of my life at Lupin's in the hopes that our new found 'friendship' would be enough for him to accept to do me this favour.  Of course, they were bound to like each other, she acts like she owns the world and she's so giddy she could only remind him of the Marauders, and that is exactly the reason why I did it. Let him deal with that! Ha! The foolish werewolf even thanked me for such a nice visitor. Better you than me I thought with my eyebrow raised high. She still wore her lunch clothes so he didn't suspect anything. I'm no fool though, I know he'll expect something out of this. If I am right, before I went back to the heavenly quietness of my dungeons, he said we'd have to take a cup of tea together in town some time. There goes my part of the deal, I could swear on it.

It was after supper time and I'd forgotten the little bugger until she knocked on my door. I left my Potions journal on the couch and answered the door. When I expect no one, I am not silly enough to open my door to anyone knocking. Not that it's much trouble all through the year anyway since I barely get any visitors. The first thing that met my eyes was her horrible little teenage smile. I believe my eyes rolled while I asked myself: "Why me?" Touch luck, Lupin did not take her for a long stroll alone around the Forbidden Forest. Alas!   Even more depressing, she started to fill me in on the details of her day which, ironically, she had yet to understand that the precise reason why I had dumped her in the first place was that I wished to hear nothing at all! She seemed oblivious to that to my utmost misery.

"Hey! We had so much fun! You should have been there, really! Remus is so cool and its so cute his being a werewolf and all!"

At that point, I thought my ears were deceiving me.

"Cute that he is a werewolf?! For Circe' sake! The man has to undergo the most horrible transformation each month that could be lethal to all of us and you think it's cute?!"

"Well, yeah! It's exciting 'cause it's different! Bet you're jealous of the attention he gets! Werewolves are well accepted without our community in America. People don't care so much for blood purity and mixes over there."  The scariest in that scene was how she seemed clueless or careless of the danger and drama of it all.

"Congratulations my dear, now I can swear that I have heard it all!"  She went on without caring for my comments though.

"Then we visited his office with all those cool Dark Arts artifacts and skulls. One looked just like you by the way, all scolding and uptight. Even put one on my head while he wasn't looking. Ha ha! He got quite a surprise when he turned around." Yes, dear Journal, she dared! I couldn't believe my ears (once again) but to my most extreme mortification, that was not all the information she regurgitated upon me. " And then we stopped by the staff room where lots of teachers were having 'tea'. Duh! You British are so conventional, there wasn't even anything else for me to drink! Never heard of pops they said. Butterbeer is ok but it's so old fashioned! "

"Of course, you stupid girl! It's the staff room, not the Three-Broomsticks or some bar!" And what was a 'pop'? Of all the idiotic things to do, why did Lupin go there?!  What are they going to think about me now they've seen her!  "I do hope you retained a minimum of good manners while up there in front of all my colleagues. Because if you haven't, it won't stop me that you are not a student of this school to give you a detention. You may never have heard of them in Canada, but if you once in a while heard an unpleasant torturous human moan all the way back there, well believe me, it was not a moose but one of my students serving detention with me!"

"Funny you should mention it, they all asked me if I had been put on detention yet. (Giggle) Next time I meet one, I'll have to inform them I was threatened at the very least! Anyway, they were nice but they're all so old and ancient! Remus' this only one worth noticing. Reckon that if he'd cut his moustache he'd be such a hunk! All the others wanted was to talk about was my education and Canada. Dull! But some of them  did say we had some things in common... "

"And what pray did they tell you?" ...so I can hex their bottoms off for even mentioning that you and I share part of our blood together?

"Talked about my manners..."  

That was it, the wine I had just been drinking traveled up my nose and out while I choked on it! Of all the insults I've received in all of my life, that was the summum bodum!  

"Your good manners?!" I said incredulously still not believing my ears. " Was there some psychotic hallucinogens in their tea that they imagined for even a fraction of a second that you had good manners?!  Not only that, but MY good manners and upbringing!?"

"Well you said yourself after lunch that it was fine for me to go out and..."

"For your information, I only accepted to let you visit the castle with someone else because you showed passable table manners during lunch and you had acceptable clothes on. However, that never was meant as a compliment to your ungraceful or lack of manners in everything else, especially not enough to be compared to me of all people! Unless of course you purposely act differently in public than when we are here."

"Why yes I do," she blathered out as if I were the dunderhead, "quite obviously! I'm not stupid enough to act like a tart or a deranged teenager when out of the house!"

"So you're telling me that out of your home, you do act like a reasonable and well-bred young lady?"

"Why of course! It wouldn't bring me anything to annoy strangers!"

"So you are telling me that you annoy people you know on purpose?!  That is the most ridiculous behaviour I have ever heard of!"

"I annoy people when they annoy me, that's all"

"Have your insipid little brain never even considered that if people annoyed you it was merely because you weren't acting up to their expectations to begin with?"

"No." Her look was blank as ever.

"Well then for future references, I advise that orphan and lonely cell brain of yours to register that: if you annoy people on purpose, then you're sure to get what's coming to you ten folds. And the only way out is by stopping to bother people in the first place and be responsible of your actions and thoughts..."

"All right, all right! I have enough of my parents moralizing me all the time, I don't need you to say it!  I know that stuff, I just don't feel like it that's all"

Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out...  Mental mantras are wonderful when you close your eyes, but the second I reopened them, I lost my temper again and I told her to give me a break and stop addressing me for a while.  She addressed me only while on the couch painting her nails much later on. Gosh I was exhausted and angered. I'll need a stronger Calming Draught tonight if I ever want to sleep for the adrenaline levels in my body must be so high it could kill me!  I'm going to sleep now in case she'd want to reapparate again tonight.

Good night to you, dear Journal, thank you for being there, I do not know what I would have done without you tonight.

Severus

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Morning. She's gone!  Gone for good!  And who saved me?  Remus!  Oh I could have kissed him!! He came by at 9 to check on us. He knows I always wake up at 9 when on weekends or vacation.  Francesca was giddy and oh so happy to see him there.  I bet she was because she was still clad in her tight pink pyjamas and making sure her breasts were prominent.  She would have been sorted in Gryffindor for being so obvious surely.  Remus didn't seem to mind or notice, he played nicely with the girl and was all niceties.  Said he'd received an owl from Bloody-Potter and he was going to visit the boy (still can't bring myself to call him a man) all day, and if she wanted to come along, she was welcomed. Miss Too-Sexy-For-My-Age-And-Giddy-As-A-Dog jumped and rejoiced so much, I knew I had just been saved.  Oh my!  That will cost me more than a cup of tea I'm afraid, but who cares!  I'm free! Her mother gave her a portkey to be used to come back after the two days were up, and since Potter would bring them to his Quidditch match in the evening, all was planned to let her sleep over there instead.  Now I can really say I received all of my rewards for having endured such a life as mine for all these years. Merlin has not deserted me!  And yes, even though I have to thank the Potter-Boy, secretly of course, I couldn't care less whom my savior was!  Ah!! Sweet freedom!  And next time this happens, I'll have another portkey and a galleon pouch prepared to send the little lady on a trip in any European country of her choice instead.  A Slytherin is not to be caught twice unprepared! Oh no!  I can promise you that.

Have a good day, may it be as wonderful as mine is shaping up to be with my cat on my laps, cuddling me into forgiveness...

Severus